A Small Eternity

A small eternity within me

calls to a Greater One somewhere;

I don’t even know myself -

this piece that lasts forever.

Who am I?

I can’t understand “neverending,”

yet I’m told that’s who I am.

What will I do forever?

Is all stiving bad,

an effect of evil,

or is striving just another good

in the long list of things twisted

until they don’t recognize what is reflected

in the living water?

Who am I?

Where am I on the path?

The middle, surefooted?

The edge, wavering?

Beyond the borders, floating in chaos?

It’s all so gray and hazy,

out there past my shell.

I see flickers, shapes,

but nothing certain.

Who am I?

Where am I?

When am I?

How long does this cocooned phase last?

When does it end?

It hurts sometimes.

I want it to be better,

but I don’t want to leave.

What if out there is worse somehow?

Or not even there at all?

What if the shadows I see

are just the wiggling of other cocoons

before they, too, fade to the surrounding nothing?

Who am I?

Where am I?

When am I?

Why am I?

Am I here for myself

and impact no one?

Or am I here only as a fixture

for people more important,

to help furnish their journey?

The Great Eternity breathes, just outside my shell.

He answers by drawing near.

Background:

I am so jealous of my younger self at times - until a certain age, “be still and know” came so much easier for her than it often does for me now.

I hope your questions, especially the big ones, get some room to breathe today, even if you don’t get big answers right now. A Great Presence waits in the stillness for us to meet Him there, to see that He is the answer.

Wishing you goodness without end,

Jess